Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Slow blinking at my boss so he knows I want a raise.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

Making waves on Facebook:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Live now on Threads:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Trending via Discord:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Trending via Twitch:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Witty text questioning why it's called rush hour despite the slow traffic.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Why do they call it rush hour? It's more like 'crawl hour' if you ask me! It's the only time of day when even the snails are passing you by. Maybe they should rename it 'slow-ly but surely hour' instead!"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m tired of things costing money.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

49 shares on Threads this month:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,664

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Simplicity is so complicated.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Just shared via YouTube:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Going viral on Discord:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Going viral on Twitch:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Live now on Instagram:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Live now on WeChat:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Making waves on Instagram:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

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