Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,483

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Spotted on X:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Just landed via Telegram:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Trending via YouTube:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Adulting: Brought to you by the 'What Should I Eat?' committee and the 'Bills, Bills, Bills' club! 🍕💸"

adulthood, bill, bills, decision, eat, food, humor, just, responsibility, why, wondering

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

0

2 months ago

calling, complaint, dog, dogs, glizzy, hate, hot, hot dog, humor, i, know, language, need, people, slang, stop
I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

0

2 months ago

am, artificial, authentic, authenticity, humor, i, intelligence, irony, opposite, self-deprecation, stupidity
My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

0

2 months ago

boss, early, finish, humor, i, initiative, joke, me, productivity, show, told, work, workplace
Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

0

5 months ago

always, asleep, before, change, fall, humor, life, morning, motivation, procrastination, sleep, wake, why
Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

0

4 months ago

answer, apparently, funny response, humor, inappropriate, inappropriate answer, interview, interview question, job, job interview, motivation, question, response, spite
Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

0

2 months ago

accomplishment, brag, driving, found, humor, i, looking, multitasking, music, navigation, place, today, turning

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on YouTube this month:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

78 shares on Discord this month:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

21 shares on Discord this month:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

99 shares on WeChat this month:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

96 shares on Discord this month:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Spotted on Facebook:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Seen just now on Slack:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Just shared via Twitch:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Just shared via Pinterest:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Spotted on Twitch:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨