Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.
  • This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’
  • The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.
  • A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
  • Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.
  • Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.