Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.
  • I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.
  • After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.
  • If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.
  • I suffer from awesomnia.
  • Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.