Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,989

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Spotted on TikTok:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Trending via Instagram:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Just landed via TikTok:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Trending via Telegram:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Going viral on Reddit:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When she's sure she knows your feelings better than you do, it's like she's got a PhD in Mind Reading-ology 😂🧠📚

explain, explanation, feelings, humor, just, misunderstanding, thoughts, woman, womansplaining, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

0

2 months ago

better, exercise, fitness, humor, i, journey, mean, motivation, reach, treadmill, walk
Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

0

2 months ago

ever, hearing, humor, husband, marriage, nobody, plans, relationship, second, surprise, time, wife
Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

0

2 months ago

birthday, celebrate, celebration, fun, humor, irony, parents, relationship, sex
I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

0

2 months ago

fast, financial, humor, i, life, money, spending
Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

0

2 months ago

Dick, dislike, guy, humor, joke, name, nickname, Richard, wordplay
Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

0

2 months ago

apology, awkwardness, eye, eye widening, eyes, first meeting, humor, meeting, met, prophecy, sorry, whispering, widening

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Twitch this month:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

Live now on TikTok:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Breaking via Facebook:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Going viral on YouTube:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Spotted on X:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Breaking via Threads:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨