Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Imagine a world where fast food runs are replaced with fat donation drives! 🍔💪 Don't fret, those extra slices of pizza might just save a life! 🍕🦸‍♂️ Who needs a superhero when you can be a fat-healer! 💥😂"

body, body fat, donate, fat, health, humor, loss, need, nice, own, urgency, weight, weight loss

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

0

2 months ago

activity, change, doing, goal, growth, humor, new, new year, personal, personal growth, resolution, Resolutions, stop, things, time, year
My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

0

2 months ago

boss, day, finished, humor, i, job, just, left, means, office, productivity, work
I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

0

2 months ago

arts, chi, combat, community, community lessons, free, humor, i, irony, lessons, martial, martial arts, muggers, self-defense, slow, tai, Tai Chi, think, too
If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

0

2 months ago

30, again, agree, anger, back, board, board of directors, chat, communication, conflict, conflict resolution, directors, forgiveness, friends, group, group chat, humor, later, mad, means, minutes, relationship, resolution, told
Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, art, cartoon, celebrity, celebrity culture, celebs, culture, forget, humor, media, monkey, pandemic, pictures, sell, social, social media, trying
Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

0

2 months ago

activity, cardio, exercise, fun, fun activity, kids, parenting, struggle, summer, sunscreen

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Telegram this month:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

29 shares on X this month:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

76 shares on Threads this month:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

Just shared via Messenger:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Trending via WeChat:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Going viral on X:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Live now on LinkedIn:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Live now on Reddit:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨