Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.