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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

(suicidal grindset guy) When I jump, it’s gonna be from the penthouse.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Just shared via Twitch:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

Trending via Snapchat:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Trending via YouTube:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Going viral on Twitch:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Trending via Telegram:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Just shared via Reddit:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Just shared via X:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

0
Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a great way to bond… or be banned! 😂🃏🚫

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

95 shares on Threads this month:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

52 shares on Slack this month:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

83 shares on Threads this month:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,281

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Trending via Reddit:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Going viral on Instagram:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

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