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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,725

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Spotted on WeChat:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Making waves on Instagram:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Making waves on Slack:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

0
You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.
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Commentary:
🎶 "You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands." 🤗✨ Because let's face it, while smiling might be easy, those jazz hands require a whole different level of commitment and pizzazz! Time to bring out your inner Broadway star and jazz-hand your way through life! 💃🕺🎭

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Slack this month:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

93 shares on Threads this month:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

28 shares on Slack this month:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

48 shares on X this month:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to have a great future in my past.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Aura is the real business card.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,706

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Seen just now on TikTok:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Making waves on Messenger:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Just landed via Pinterest:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Just shared via Instagram:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Trending via WeChat:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

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