Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.
  • I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.
  • My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.
  • The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.
  • In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.
  • The only joke my mom ever made was me.