Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew supporting a good cause could be so literal? 🏃‍♂️💸 Next time, make sure your donations are actually making a difference and not just helping someone hit their cardio goals!"

donate, fundraising, humor, joke, just, marathon, money, never, people, run, sarcasm, should, take

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

0

2 months ago

always, appliance, appliances, coincidence, expense, getting, humor, know, money, refund, tax, timing
The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

0

2 months ago

bro, context, drink, humor, little, umbrella, unnecessary, wet
Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

0

2 months ago

date, deal, expiry, humor, i, patience, payback, ready, revenge, timing
Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

0

2 months ago

closed, early, easier, eyes, getting, humor, keep, sleep, struggle, waking
Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

0

4 months ago

chair, clean, closet, clothes, dilemma, dirty, humor, laundry, laundry dilemma, too, welcome
My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

0

2 months ago

being, confusion, dog, dogs, era, fear, food, food invention, having, historical, historical confusion, hot, hot dog, humor, imagine, invention, knowledge, modern, modern knowledge, renaissance, Renaissance era, something, time, time travel, tools, travel, waking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on TikTok this month:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

61 shares on X this month:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

30 shares on Discord this month:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

64 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

21 shares on Threads this month:

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Going viral on Instagram:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

Going viral on TikTok:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Going viral on Reddit:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

Making waves on X:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Going bananas on WeChat:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Trending via YouTube:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨