Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve been alive my whole life, and not once have I seen a commercial for Chinese food.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,737

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Breaking via Slack:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Shared recently on Discord:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Breaking via WeChat:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Clever humorous quote about waking up, highlighting morning struggles with a playful twist.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like the alarm clock might need some therapy for the trauma of facing that morning mess every day! 🕰️🤪 Maybe it's high time for a make-up-free morning routine to show it some mercy. 🤣 #AlarmClockStruggles #MorningStruggles

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on YouTube this month:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

97 shares on X this month:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

10 shares on Threads this month:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

33 shares on Threads this month:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,532

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Going viral on WeChat:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Going bananas on Instagram:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Spotted on X:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Going viral on Messenger:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Trending via TikTok:

Nothing ruins an introvert’s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Just landed via X:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴