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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Lingerie under a trench coat is still on my bucket list, by the way.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

There’s a certain nothing about you.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,491

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Breaking via Discord:

Thank God for headphones and day dreaming.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Trending via Twitch:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I had too much to think last night.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Just shared via Facebook:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

2 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about adulting and internet arguments, humorously encouraging maturity.

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Commentary:
It's not a phase, Mom—I'm just honing my debate skills for the next family dinner 🍝👨‍⚖️💻

adult, argument, conflict, fighting, internet, maybe, online, online conflict, people, stop, time

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Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Messenger this month:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

42 shares on X this month:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

13 shares on Threads this month:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Seen just now on Threads:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Just landed via Twitch:

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Spotted on Discord:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Trending via TikTok:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Just shared via X:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

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Activity Log ✨

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Such is modern life. Mordor in our midst.

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

The amount of water you actually need to drink to be hydrated is so obscene. Who does this body think it is? A data center?

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Keep the laugh going 😂

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Such is modern life. Mordor in our midst.

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

The amount of water you actually need to drink to be hydrated is so obscene. Who does this body think it is? A data center?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨