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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Just shared via Messenger:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Just landed via Telegram:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Shared recently on X:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Spotted on Messenger:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

Just landed via YouTube:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Trending via YouTube:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your posts are so lit, even Wi-Fi signals start sweating. 🔥📵😂

baddie, forbid, man, media, posting, real, social, social media, tried

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

0

2 months ago

childhood, family, forget, house, humor, memory, never, noisy, noisy toy, parents, things, toy, toys
Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

0

3 months ago

good, here, monster, monsters, morning, slay, townsfolk
Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

1

5 months ago

beverage, coke, diet, Diet Coke, gunshot, gunshot wound, humor, injury, ironic, ironic remedy, pain, pain relief, relief, remedy, wound
You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

0

2 months ago

accent, American, American accent, fake, fake accent, humor, language, literally, pronunciation, slang, speech, want
There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

0

2 weeks ago

Adam, Adam Sandler, better, change, change clothes, changing, clothes, comfort, coming, feeling, fit, home, outfit, relaxation, sandler
I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

0

5 months ago

band, Band of Brothers, brothers, depression, humor, i, male, male depression, nostalgia, rewatch, stage, television

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Facebook this month:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

87 shares on Discord this month:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

19 shares on Discord this month:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

89 shares on Threads this month:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

37 shares on Slack this month:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Just landed via Twitch:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨