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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,795

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Just shared via X:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

1 day ago

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Commentary:
When your posts are so lit, even Wi-Fi signals start sweating. 🔥📵😂

baddie, forbid, man, media, posting, real, social, social media, tried

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

4 hours ago
72, American, Americans, bro, casual, casual speech, Fahrenheit, Funny, humor, i, joke, man, outside, oven, speak, speech, temperature, weather
Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

1 month ago
appreciation, cost, day, drinking, erase, every, Facebook, fun, humor, i, liquor, me, memory, nostalgia, show
“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

1 month ago
funny situation, hold, humor, i, jet, myself, personal, self, shower, situation, slipping, tell, trying, water
Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

2 weeks ago
being, broke, hatred, humor, i, just, money, motivation, nothing, passion, pure, work
I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

1 month ago
20, awkward, discomfort, good, humor, joke, looking, minutes, observation, reading, room, social
It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

1 month ago
activity, behavior, cat, feeling, fun, fun activity, good, good feeling, head, playful, playful behavior, ram

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

Making waves on YouTube:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Trending via YouTube:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Just shared via YouTube:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Just landed via Reddit:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Spotted on WeChat:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

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Activity Log ✨

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

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You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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