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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,248

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Trending via TikTok:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Live now on WeChat:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Making waves on Slack:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Just shared via X:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

Just landed via Discord:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

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You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.
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Commentary:
"Oh, the dreaded email strike! ⚡️ It's like a ninja assassin, stealthily disrupting your productive flow. 💻🤦‍♂️ But don't worry, you're not alone in this battle against the inbox invasion! 📧💥 Keep fighting the good fight, brave warrior of productivity! 💪🤺"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Messenger this month:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

82 shares on Slack this month:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

48 shares on Threads this month:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

10 shares on Twitch this month:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,499

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Seen just now on Threads:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Just shared via Twitch:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Trending via Telegram:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

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