You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?