Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,724

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Shared recently on TikTok:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Just landed via Instagram:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Making waves on Facebook:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Going viral on Threads:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Trending via Pinterest:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Going viral on Twitch:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my brain is stuck on the "overthinking" setting 😂🤔💡

anxiety, available, bro, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, overthinking, thinking, type

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

2 months ago

face, humor, i, outlaw, poster, unwanted, west, wild, Wild West
My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

2 months ago

advice, communication, counseling, couples, couples counseling, girlfriend, humor, i, knows, relationship, should, therapist, therapy, try, wrong
That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

3 months ago

conversation, conversations, distraction, focus, got, half, head, loud, mind, missed, moment, music, relatable, restart, song, too
About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

2 months ago

activity, enjoy, film, first time, fun, fun activity, i, movie, Tenet, time, watch
One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

2 months ago

able, adulting, being, boundary, excuse, mom, over, said, say, someone, sucks, thing, visitor, want
Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

4 months ago

appetizer, asleep, bedtime, before, couch, fall, i, joke, little, nap, sleep, sometimes, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Telegram this month:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

18 shares on X this month:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

83 shares on X this month:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Making waves on X:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

Spotted on Facebook:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Shared recently on X:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Going viral on Discord:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Trending via Snapchat:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨