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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

17 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Just shared via Telegram:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Going viral on Messenger:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Live now on X:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Spotted on Threads:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

6 months ago

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎲💔 "Looks like the local casino is doubling down on romance with their speed dating event! Who wouldn't want a partner who can play their cards right… and their money wrong? 🃏🤦‍♀️ It's a high-stakes love affair waiting to happen! Place your bets on finding love… or at least a good poker face! ♠️♥️♦️♣️😄"

boyfriend, casino, date, dating, dating joke, event, every, funny event, gambling, hosting, humor, joke, just, local, needs, new, problem, relationship, relationship humor, speed, speed date, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

17 minutes ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Spotted on X:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Spotted on YouTube:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Just shared via X:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Trending via Twitch:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Going viral on TikTok:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

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