Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

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Shout out to myself for ruining my own life.

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Time machine? You mean a clock?