Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.