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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Someone from πŸ‡ΌπŸ‡Έ has viewed:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has copied:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both β€” naked people arguing about politics.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has copied:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has viewed:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

1754 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,916

Funny Quotes Topics

14,731

Funny Quotes Images

11,916

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Just landed via YouTube:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Going viral on Instagram:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Just landed via Telegram:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Breaking via Threads:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Just landed via Reddit:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Shared recently on YouTube:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.
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When multitasking becomes an Olympic sport, I'm ready πŸ˜‚πŸ“ΊπŸ“±

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Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

1754 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,916

Funny Quotes Topics

14,731

Funny Quotes Images

11,916

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡― has copied:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

Anti-capitalism is just code for β€œI don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡² has viewed:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has shared:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via WeChat:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Just landed via YouTube:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Trending via TikTok:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Live now on Facebook:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Spotted on Reddit:

A toddler in their β€œwhy” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Trending via YouTube:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Just landed via Telegram:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Trending via Reddit:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

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