I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.