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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2246 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,408

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,408

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Live now on Snapchat:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Making waves on Discord:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Just shared via Snapchat:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Just landed via Instagram:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Making waves on YouTube:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic go-big-or-go-home approach to finances! It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for them… or if they end up with more lottery tickets than sense!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2246 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,408

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,408

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,427

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Making waves on X:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Seen just now on WeChat:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Live now on Twitch:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Breaking via Telegram:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Reported on Telegram:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Shared recently on Reddit:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

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