Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.
  • At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.
  • I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.
  • Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.
  • I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.
  • My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.