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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,579

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Just landed via Twitch:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Going viral on Slack:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Trending via Twitch:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Going viral on TikTok:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Going bananas on WeChat:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

2 months ago

0

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a sunroof when you can have a sunwoof instead? 🐶☀️ Perfect for those four-legged passengers who just want to feel the wind in their fur! Just make sure they don't get too carried away and start giving driving directions. 😄🚗"

accessory, car, car window, dog, dog travel, funny term, head, humor, pet, pet accessory, stick, sunwoof, term, travel, window, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

0

5 months ago

darkness, humor, light, metaphor, moth, perspective, seek, simply
If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

0

2 months ago

company, grow, hiring, humor, job, people, sign, work, workload
Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, bottle, butterfly, chugging, coping, coping mechanism, drinking, feel, humor, i, mechanism, nervousness, next, tequila, time
I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

0

2 months ago

activity, childhood, culture, DuckTales, flex, fun, fun activity, intro, intro song, music, nostalgia, pop, pop culture, sing, song
“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

0

2 months ago

desire, exaggeration, food, garlic, humor, love, much, next, romance, sarcasm, too
It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

0

2 months ago

exercise, gym, humor, i, mishap, store, today, unexpected, walking, wind, wine

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on WeChat this month:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

46 shares on Slack this month:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

39 shares on Discord this month:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,579

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Trending via Reddit:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Shared recently on Threads:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Just landed via Slack:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Just landed via TikTok:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Just landed via Threads:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

Making waves on Messenger:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Going viral on Instagram:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

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