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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast it had to be done by Elvis.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

3 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Reported on TikTok:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Reported on Discord:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Making waves on X:

My recliner and I go way back.

Trending via Snapchat:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Making waves on YouTube:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

6 months ago

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

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Commentary:
"It's a constant struggle between enjoying each other's company and agreeing to socialize outside the comfort zone of sweatpants and Netflix. 🏡💁‍♂️ Who needs parties when you've got a cozy couch and a good friend who's just as keen on staying in as you are? 🛋️🤗 #HomeBuddies #IntrovertsUnite"

adult, adult friendship, best, best friend, difficult, friend, friendship, get on, homebody, house, i, leave, never, people, socializing, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

3 minutes ago

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Reported on Reddit:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Going viral on X:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Spotted on Threads:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Breaking via Discord:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Trending via Twitch:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Breaking via Twitch:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Just landed via Facebook:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Seen just now on Threads:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Breaking via Twitch:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

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