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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,261

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

AirPods are hungry for earwax. It’s your job to feed them.

Spotted on Slack:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Seen just now on Threads:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Spotted on Messenger:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Live now on Instagram:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Seen just now on Threads:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Adulting level unlocked: Reading emails is my new 'daily scroll'! 📧😂 #InboxInfluencer"

adult, adult life, adulthood, communication, digital, digital communication, Gmail, life, media, routine, social, social media, turn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

2 months ago

back, backtalk, beautiful, beauty, behind, compliment, cool, coolness, gossip, humor, irony, talking
Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

2 months ago

diagnosing, engagement, humor, keep, media, observation, posting, social, social media
I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

2 months ago

again, confidence, failure, falling, humor, irony, mission, repetition, sarcasm, success, successful, times
“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

2 months ago

banter, communication, email, feel, free, humor, ignore, sarcasm, workplace
I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

4 months ago

again, communication, email, email etiquette, emails, etiquette, humor, i, know, let, life, me, office, office life, questions, sarcasm, stopped, work, work email
Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

2 months ago

car, compliment, Corvette, day, Ferrari, guys, humor, i, insult, love, loved, rivalry, ruined, telling, today

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

84 shares on Discord this month:

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

55 shares on Slack this month:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Breaking via Slack:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Just landed via Messenger:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Going viral on Discord:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Going viral on YouTube:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Making waves on Discord:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Spotted on Slack:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Seen just now on Slack:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨