Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Seen just now on Telegram:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Reported on Messenger:

Is this art or trash?

Just shared via Instagram:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Spotted on Telegram:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Trending via Threads:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Just landed via TikTok:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Just shared via Threads:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Live now on Facebook:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine the chaos if all the adults suddenly ditched their responsibilities for a spring break 🌸🍹 Who needs paperwork when you can have beach vibes and sunshine, right? 😂 #adultingishard"

, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Spotted on TikTok:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Shared recently on TikTok:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Live now on Instagram:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Making waves on Slack:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Reported on Snapchat:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴