Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,645

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Trending via TikTok:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

Live now on Facebook:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Making waves on TikTok:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs twin telepathy when you have bills to pay and work deadlines to meet? 🙅‍♂️👯‍♂️ #AdultingStruggles"

adult, adults, being, children, funny statement, humor, should, statement, twin, twins

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

1 month ago
activity, fruit, fun, fun activity, humor, mess, pomegranate, worth
My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

1 month ago
again, daily, daily struggle, humor, morning, not again, relatable, sleep, struggle, thought, thoughts, waking, waking up
Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

1 month ago
attitude, born, coming, conflict, forced, hater, humor, irony, personality, perspective, understand, understanding, where
My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

2 months ago
age, doing, excuses, humor, i, moods, old, reluctance, sober, time, tired
Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

3 months ago
confidence, dominance, dropping, flirting, humor, panty, relationship
When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

1 month ago
able, aisle, aisles, around, call, confusion, cops, frustration, grocery, grocery store, humor, joke, moves, navigation, police, shopping, should, store

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

May the algorithms be with you.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Spotted on YouTube:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Going viral on Slack:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Seen just now on Discord:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Morning, me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

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Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏