Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

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If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

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Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

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My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

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We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

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Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

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The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

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I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.