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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Jan 6, 2026

3,492

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Just shared via Threads:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Going viral on Slack:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Going bananas on Threads:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Just shared via Snapchat:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

2 months ago

0

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"😂 AI can take my job, but can it handle my caffeine-induced anxiety? I doubt it! ☕🤖💥"

AI, attack, caffeine, coffee, coming, drink, human, human reaction, humor, ID, job, panic, panic attack, reaction, stress, technology, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

0

2 months ago

absence, apparently, boss, coming, excuse, honesty, humor, i, just, reason, today, unemployment, want, why, work, workplace
You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

0

1 month ago

age, aging, attitude, being, called, care, cool, cooler, geezer, humor, less, only, paradox, self-acceptance, true
You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

0

1 month ago

comfort, comfort zone, humor, interaction, invitation, leave, mine, personality, should, social, social interaction, zone
You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

0

2 months ago

again, experience, humor, life, me, pay, year
I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

0

2 months ago

head, humor, i, music, people, recommend, songs, stuck
My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

0

2 months ago

ancestry, back, came, cheese, DNA, genetics, humor, i, identity, saying, selection, wide

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

24 shares on TikTok this month:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Half princess, half menace.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,239

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Breaking via Reddit:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Just shared via Threads:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Making waves on Threads:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Spotted on Snapchat:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Going viral on Messenger:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Just shared via Facebook:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Breaking via TikTok:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

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