Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,598

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Just landed via Messenger:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Just shared via Twitch:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Seen just now on Threads:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Seen just now on WeChat:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Trending via Telegram:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Going viral on Slack:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sure, cheers to defying time zones 🍻—pretty sure the airport is where clocks go on vacation! ✈️⏰

6, airport, am, beer, drinking, early, early morning, free, humor, judgment, lawless, lawless place, morning, no judgment, place, problem, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

0

4 months ago

acting, actually, am, crazy, credit, enough, humor, i, less, personality, self-awareness
Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

0

2 months ago

ant, ants, combatant, hell, humor, name, question, soldier, soldier ant, why, wordplay
“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

0

1 month ago

20, finding, human, humor, jeans, luck, money, old, surprise, version
Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

0

2 months ago

change, coconut, counting, falling, falling coconut, getting, humor, issue, issues, personality, work
After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

0

2 months ago

frustration, hour, humor, meeting, motivation, player, sarcasm, team, team meeting, team player, workplace
Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

0

2 months ago

call, everything, excuse, humor, i, missed, missed call, phone, procrastination, ring, ringing, ringing phone, sorry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Facebook this month:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

81 shares on Threads this month:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

60 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

91 shares on X this month:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Spotted on Reddit:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Spotted on Telegram:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Seen just now on X:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Trending via Twitch:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Making waves on Threads:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Just shared via YouTube:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Just landed via X:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨