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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,656

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

Live now on Facebook:

Every time I use a Windows computer, it’s like they built malware into the OS. Like, what do you mean there are ads in the start menu?

Going viral on WeChat:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Breaking via Telegram:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Trending via Instagram:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Making waves on Instagram:

Being a reader means voluntarily signing up for fictional heartbreak, and then recommending the pain to others.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

All the clouds have come out to play today.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Clever quote about weather with playful clouds enjoying a day outside.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the sky threw a cloud party and forgot to invite the sun! ☁️🎉😎

activity, cloud, clouds, fun, outdoor, outdoor activity, play, sky, today, weather

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Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on WeChat this month:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

41 shares on X this month:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

24 shares on Threads this month:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

77 shares on Slack this month:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Seen just now on Slack:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Live now on WhatsApp:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Trending via Telegram:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Just landed via YouTube:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Breaking via Twitch:

It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

Trending via YouTube:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

All the clouds have come out to play today.

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨