Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,557

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Breaking via Slack:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Breaking via Twitch:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Making waves on YouTube:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Going viral on Twitch:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Shared recently on X:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

All the clouds have come out to play today.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the sky threw a cloud party and forgot to invite the sun! ☁️🎉😎

activity, cloud, clouds, fun, outdoor, outdoor activity, play, sky, today, weather

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

0

2 months ago

antics, dog, election, every, humor, i, idea, party, pet, pet antics, political, political party, sign, voting
Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

0

2 months ago

everything, fun, funnier, humor, inappropriate, laughter, quiet, situation, times
To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

0

2 months ago

being, boss, expectations, hate, humor, i, means, news, reality, self-employed, terrible, work
Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

0

2 months ago

anything, ballistic, chaos, going, humor, need, request
Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

0

2 months ago

humor, imagine, introspection, irony, just, me, negativity, room, self-hate, self-reflection, solitude
May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

0

4 months ago

body, butt, challenge, clothing, comfort, day, getting, hardest, humor, jeans, over

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on WeChat this month:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Twitter is an abusement park.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

80 shares on Threads this month:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

64 shares on X this month:

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

15 shares on Discord this month:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

Making waves on Discord:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

Just landed via X:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Shared recently on Pinterest:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Spotted on Reddit:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Shared recently on Discord:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Spotted on Threads:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Making waves on Messenger:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨