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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2271 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,433

Funny Quotes Topics

15,136

Funny Quotes Images

12,433

43 minutes ago

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Just landed via TikTok:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Making waves on Threads:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Live now on WeChat:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Seen just now on Twitch:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Making waves on Messenger:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Just landed via X:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Breaking via Snapchat:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Jan 22, 2025

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

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Commentary:
Looks like one fruit fly has grand exploration dreams while the rest are content with garbage buffet dining 🍌🦟 Keep reaching for the stars, little explorer! Who knows, maybe you'll stumble upon a fruit fly paradise with all-you-can-eat bananas! 🌟🍌

behavior, curiosity, discover, else, exploration, fly, fruit, fruit fly, garbage, land, nagging, new, new land

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2271 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,433

Funny Quotes Topics

15,136

Funny Quotes Images

12,433

43 minutes ago

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Trending via LinkedIn:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

First, they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Just landed via Facebook:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Breaking via Telegram:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Just landed via TikTok:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Spotted on Twitch:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Trending via YouTube:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

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