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Looks like one fruit fly has grand exploration dreams while the rest are content with garbage buffet dining 🍌🦟 Keep reaching for the stars, little explorer! Who knows, maybe you'll stumble upon a fruit fly paradise with all-you-can-eat bananas! 🌟🍌

behavior, curiosity, discover, else, exploration, fly, fruit, fruit fly, garbage, land, nagging, new, new land

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There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

1 month ago
good, having, hours, humor, interact, introvert, morning, people, personal, personal space, should, sleep, social, space, time, waking, waking up
I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

1 month ago
airport, alcohol, love, pizza, wine
Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

1 month ago
alien, aliens, chat, communication, Earth, extraterrestrial, group, group chat, humor, joke, stop
By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

1 month ago
awkward, awkward moment, change, communication, conversation, cue, discomfort, feel, going, humor, i, interview, job, job interview, moment, second, social, social cue, subject, subject change
The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

1 month ago
asleep, bed, earlier, humor, laziness, morning, morning routine, motivation, procrastination, routine, sleep, still, think, thoughts, time, wake, waking, waking up, why, wish
Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

2 months ago
expectations, hate, help, humor, irony, offer, person, relationships, yes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Going bananas on Telegram:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Going bananas on Telegram:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Making waves on Reddit:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Going bananas on Twitch:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Going bananas on Discord:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Just landed via Facebook:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

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Activity Log ✨

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

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My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

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All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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