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Commentary:
"Sounds like a riveting morning adventure – the thrilling saga of the sweater struggle! 😴🧥 Who knew getting dressed could be such an adrenaline rush? Stay strong, brave sweater warrior! 💪😂"

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Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

1 month ago
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Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

1 month ago
awkward, awkward moment, big, bonk, comparison, feels, funny comparison, hammer, head, moment, music, music recognition, public, recognition, same, Shazam, song, taking, yourself
God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

1 month ago
all-forgetting, all-knowing, forgetfulness, God, humor, ID, wisdom
A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

1 month ago
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Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

1 month ago
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I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

1 month ago
broken, humor, laws, moving, moving on, nature, new, new year, Resolutions, self-improvement, year

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

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Freshly posted on Telegram:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Seen just now on Telegram:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

About to form my very first opinion.

Live now on YouTube:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

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Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

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I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

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Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

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Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

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Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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