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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,470

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Spotted on X:

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Seen just now on X:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Live now on Snapchat:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Going viral on TikTok:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

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Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”
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Commentary:
Looks like someone missed the memo on turning rebellion into a profitable side hustle! 💼💸😆

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Slack this month:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

63 shares on Threads this month:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

100 shares on Messenger this month:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,479

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Going viral on Discord:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Seen just now on Discord:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Shared recently on Threads:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Making waves on Telegram:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Spotted on Facebook:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Just shared via Telegram:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

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