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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,713

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Seen just now on Threads:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Going viral on TikTok:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Shared recently on Discord:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

2 months ago

0

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Starting your sinning journey, huh? 🍷 Let's start with classics like eating the last slice of pizza and not sharing, or binge-watching Netflix instead of being productive. Remember, sinning responsibly is the key! 😈 #SinsForBeginners"

advice, getting, getting into, good, good sin, humor, just, mischief, sin, sins, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

0

5 months ago

anyone, anywhere, avoiding, avoiding people, distancing, eyes, great, home, humor, i, introvert, money, open, people, saving, saving money, social, social distancing, staying, staying home
Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

0

2 months ago

ambition, childhood, early, ever, girl, humor, i, leave, little, wanted, work
My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

0

4 months ago

AI, comparison, girlfriend, hotter, humor, joke, real, relationship, technology
If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

0

2 months ago

aliens, believe, commercials, dialogue, humor, observation, pharmaceutical, satire, walk, writing
I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, child, conversation, humor, i, love, nothing, passion, talk, toddler
If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

0

2 months ago

compliment, fog, funny moment, glasses, humor, me, moment, self-esteem

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

25 shares on X this month:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,280

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Going viral on Threads:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I hope this email kills us both.

Seen just now on Slack:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Going viral on Slack:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Live now on Slack:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Going viral on X:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

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