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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,338

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Live now on Facebook:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Seen just now on Telegram:

Don’t really want to have 6-8 pints and a takeaway tonight, but it’s Friday and rules are rules.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Spotted on TikTok:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

5 days ago

Funny quote about starting to indulge in mischief or wrongdoing with playful humor.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Starting your sinning journey, huh? 🍷 Let's start with classics like eating the last slice of pizza and not sharing, or binge-watching Netflix instead of being productive. Remember, sinning responsibly is the key! 😈 #SinsForBeginners"

advice, getting, getting into, good, good sin, humor, just, mischief, sin, sins, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Messenger this month:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

People should come with warning labels.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

56 shares on Discord this month:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,573

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Going viral on Reddit:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Spotted on Facebook:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Spotted on Twitch:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

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