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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,695

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Just landed via Telegram:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Just shared via X:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Just shared via Messenger:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Trending via X:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Spotted on Discord:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Just landed via TikTok:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

2 months ago

0

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Starting your sinning journey, huh? 🍷 Let's start with classics like eating the last slice of pizza and not sharing, or binge-watching Netflix instead of being productive. Remember, sinning responsibly is the key! 😈 #SinsForBeginners"

advice, getting, getting into, good, good sin, humor, just, mischief, sin, sins, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

0

2 months ago

coping, humor, just, problem, realize, sad, sadness, self-awareness, sing, voice, worse
Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

0

4 months ago

delay, distraction, hours, humor, i, internet, just, know, management, media, procrastination, scrolling, social, social media, time, time management
If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

0

2 months ago

bf, dating, gf, humor, i, ID, irony, relationship
My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

0

4 months ago

early, early leave, Friday, humor, leave, life, office, office life, sneaking, sneaking out, talent, work
The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

0

2 weeks ago

angry, Angry Bird, assault, bird, birds, bong, disgusting, game, humor, me, parody, video, video game
I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

0

2 months ago

advice, bossy, confidence, doing, exactly, humor, i, just, know, leadership

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

57 shares on Messenger this month:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

35 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,396

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Making waves on WeChat:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Trending via Messenger:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Shared recently on YouTube:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

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