Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,311

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Spotted on Instagram:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Making waves on Telegram:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Spotted on Reddit:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Live now on Threads:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

Breaking via Twitch:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my Tupperware is throwing wild parties and I'm never invited! 🥳🥤📦

apparently, appear, clutter, cupboard, extra, humor, kitchen, leave, lid, lids, nowhere, organization, storage, too, Tupperware

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

0

2 months ago

all-you-can-eat, buffet, eating, food, humor, witness, witnesses, worst
Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

0

2 weeks ago

business, business motive, care, casino, company, gambling, heal, healing, health, health care, irony, motive, pharmaceutical, pharmaceutical company, skepticism, trust, want, wants, win, winning
Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

0

2 months ago

behavior, digital, digital behavior, feed, humor, judging, mature, maturity, media, non-judgmental, person, scrolling, social, social media
Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

0

2 months ago

dating, gifts, humor, jewelry, just, laid, nice, relationships, romance, shopping, should, stores, trying
Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

0

2 months ago

comedy, humor, jehovah’s, Jehovah’s Witness, jokes, knock, knock knock, religion, tell, witness, witnesses, worst
IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

0

2 months ago

assembly, DIY, frustration, furniture, glossary, humor, IKEA, instructions, swear, swear word, Swedish, word, words

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

98 shares on WeChat this month:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

37 shares on Messenger this month:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

81 shares on Threads this month:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I need a day off from myself.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Breaking via Telegram:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Making waves on Snapchat:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Breaking via Pinterest:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Broadcasted on Discord:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Making waves on X:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Making waves on Twitch:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Trending via Instagram:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨