Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Live now on Discord:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Just shared via Slack:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Just landed via Facebook:

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Just shared via Instagram:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my Tupperware is throwing wild parties and I'm never invited! 🥳🥤📦

apparently, appear, clutter, cupboard, extra, humor, kitchen, leave, lid, lids, nowhere, organization, storage, too, Tupperware

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

0

2 months ago

addiction, caffeine, coffee, crack, good, humor, just, legal, only, taste
38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

0

2 months ago

being, car, dad, else, family, humor, humor quote, looking, parenting, patience, sitting, stereotype, waiting, watch
I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

0

2 months ago

adventure, blindly, comedy, dodgy, dodgy situation, Hobbit, humor, i, misadventure, risk, situation, situations, walk, walking
Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

0

2 months ago

chores, doing, humor, laundry, me, nobody, relatable, sad
Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, anywhere, bug, bugs, choose, face, fly, fly into face, flying, flying bug, humor, insect, nature, right, still, want
Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

0

3 months ago

afternoon, beverage, california, coffee, crying, emotions, humor, iced, iced coffee, most

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Twitch this month:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

98 shares on Slack this month:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

55 shares on Twitch this month:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Trending via Messenger:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

Trending via Messenger:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Freshly posted on Threads:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Breaking via Threads:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Just landed via WeChat:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Going viral on Slack:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨