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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,514

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Just shared via YouTube:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Shared recently on X:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Shared recently on X:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Making waves on Reddit:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

0
Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"You're the 'S' to my 'HTTP', without you I'm just a bad connection! 😂💻💕"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Threads this month:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

42 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Going viral on X:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Live now on Facebook:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Spotted on Snapchat:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Seen just now on Twitch:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

Trending via Pinterest:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Trending via WhatsApp:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

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