Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.
  • You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.
  • I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.
  • That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.
  • We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’
  • Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.