Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.