Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

47 shares on Threads this month:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

29 shares on Threads this month:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.