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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Dear Santa, Money!

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,640

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Just landed via Reddit:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Just landed via WeChat:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Breaking via Messenger:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Making waves on Twitch:

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

2 months ago

0

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like someone needs a corporate witness protection program 😂🕵️‍♂️ #NoSnitchingInTheOffice

baby, ever, job, serious, snitch, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

0

2 months ago

concern, humor, i, ID, me, meeting, personality, reflection, self, someone
She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

0

2 months ago

cellphone, clumsiness, dropped, face, grace, humor, lady, style
The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

0

2 months ago

age, birthday, celebration, denial, fun, humor, i, just, older, one-night, one-night stand, pretend, stand, time, treat
It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

0

2 months ago

bird, creativity, flirting, humor, nature, relationship, sex, someone, song
I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

0

3 months ago

coffee, delusion, humor, i, love, morning, sarcasm, smell
The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

0

4 days ago

aging, being, humor, hurry, i, life, live, older, realization, realize, terrible

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on YouTube this month:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

40 shares on WeChat this month:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

43 shares on Instagram this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

79 shares on Slack this month:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

84 shares on Facebook this month:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship status: he escaped.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,305

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Going bananas on Slack:

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Breaking via Facebook:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Just landed via WeChat:

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

Freshly posted on X:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Breaking via TikTok:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

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