Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,643

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Trending via Instagram:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Live now on Facebook:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Just landed via TikTok:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Making waves on X:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Just landed via Threads:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Just shared via Messenger:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Spotted on LinkedIn:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like someone needs a corporate witness protection program 😂🕵️‍♂️ #NoSnitchingInTheOffice

baby, ever, job, serious, snitch, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

0

5 months ago

always, asleep, before, change, fall, humor, life, morning, motivation, procrastination, sleep, wake, why
Dance like China isn’t watching.

0

2 months ago

China, dance, expression, freedom, humor, irony, watching
Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

0

2 months ago

age, children, days, humor, just, know, little, little people, live, men, parenting, people, weight, women
If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

0

2 months ago

belief, humor, joke, magic, me, money, payment, put, rid, scam, send, someone, spell, think
At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

0

2 months ago

attractive, attractiveness, belly, big, body, body image, breasts, butts, change, humor, image, preferences, trends, waiting
Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

0

2 months ago

bacon, bad, bad day, comfort, comfort food, day, food, free, happiness, having, humor, lighthearted, should

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Just landed via Telegram:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Going viral on Reddit:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Making waves on Slack:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

Going viral on Threads:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Trending via YouTube:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Spotted on Discord:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨