Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,594

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

Making waves on Threads:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Just shared via Discord:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Just shared via Discord:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Trending via Instagram:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Just shared via Telegram:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Seen just now on Slack:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Just shared via Twitch:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

0
“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hair today, sofa tomorrow! 💁‍♀️🛋️ Better stay in for some well-deserved couch cuddles.

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Telegram this month:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

48 shares on Slack this month:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,456

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Going viral on Twitch:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Going viral on Instagram:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Trending via TikTok:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Shared recently on Instagram:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Breaking via Discord:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Seen just now on X:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴