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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,603

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Just shared via Twitch:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Shared recently on TikTok:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Live now on Threads:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Trending via Messenger:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Shared recently on Reddit:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the simple life of a dinosaur – no bills to pay, no work stress… just enjoying that sweet extinction! 🦕💼💸 #DinoDreams"

being, bills, carefree, dinosaur, extinct, humor, just, nice, relaxation, simplicity, sounds, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

0

3 months ago

call, Facetime, funny observation, humility, humor, observation, screenshot, seeing, self-image, technology, video, video call, yourself
Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

0

2 months ago

beer, calling, eating, festival, food, humor, joke, month, nothing, Oktoberfast
Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

0

4 months ago

book, celebrity, ever, humor, kelce, longer, music, prenup, read, reading, relationship, sports, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, travis, Travis Kelce
An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

0

2 months ago

adult, age, humor, life, noise, person, stand
Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

0

2 months ago

balance, doing, health, hour, hours, humor, irony, mental, mental health, self-care, self-destruction, self-improvement, wellness
Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

0

2 months ago

activity, back, backwards, conspiracy, day, discover, fun, fun activity, listen, music, nostalgia, record, theory, used

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Discord this month:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

37 shares on Slack this month:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

91 shares on Threads this month:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Trending via Twitch:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Being strange is exhausting.

Trending via Slack:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Trending via WeChat:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Making waves on Threads:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Going viral on Twitch:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨