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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,012

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Spotted on Threads:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Going viral on Telegram:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Just landed via Reddit:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

4 hours ago

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Commentary:
Just here showing these gingerbread men who the real cookie boss is 🍪👑😂

biting, funny invitation, gingerbread, gingerbread man, heads, holiday, holiday treat, invitation, man, men, snack, sweet, sweet snack, swing, treat

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

1 month ago
after, am, anxiety, embarrassed, embarrassment, i, life, media, posting, reason, self-consciousness, social, social media, why
Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

2 weeks ago
disappointment, every, Friday, getting, humor, i, life, motivation, plans, procrastination, self-improvement, together, weekend
Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

1 month ago
activity, adult, adult life, ask, childhood, even, fast, friends, fun, fun activity, growing, growing up, life, new, new sh, nostalgia, run, running, sh, sucks
My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

4 months ago
early, early leave, Friday, humor, leave, life, office, office life, sneaking, sneaking out, talent, work
I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

1 month ago
art, body, body art, confidence, humor, i, irony, let, place, self-esteem, someone, tattoo, visibility, wish
Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

1 month ago
else, entertainment, here, humor, Kardashian, never, reality, reality TV, say, show, shows, statement, TV, watch

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Trending via Twitch:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Just landed via Threads:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Breaking via Telegram:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

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Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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