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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,497

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Spotted on Facebook:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Seen just now on Discord:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

Seen just now on Threads:

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

Just landed via Threads:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just here showing these gingerbread men who the real cookie boss is 🍪👑😂

biting, funny invitation, gingerbread, gingerbread man, heads, holiday, holiday treat, invitation, man, men, snack, sweet, sweet snack, swing, treat

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

0

2 months ago

comparison, cooking, essential, essential oil, food, humor, me, oil, sarcasm, taco
The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

0

4 months ago

being, dating, life, love, love life, mind, minds, modern, modern love, most, relationship, romance, romantic, romantic mind, situationship, time
Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

0

2 months ago

animal, bawk, chicken, humor, joke, outside, pun, sound, think
I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

0

2 months ago

button, creativity, guy, humor, inventor, irony, procrastination, sleep, snooze, snooze button
The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

0

2 months ago

accident, clumsiness, drop, fast, humor, i, mishap, moment, phone, reflex, slam, wall
Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

0

2 months ago

avocado, eating, ever, food, funny thought, humor, people, squeeze, squeezed, think, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

49 shares on X this month:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

75 shares on Discord this month:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Just shared via Discord:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Shared recently on Facebook:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Just landed via TikTok:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Shared recently on Messenger:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨