Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.