Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.
  • Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.
  • Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.
  • I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.
  • For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.
  • Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.