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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,490

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Going viral on WeChat:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Seen just now on Discord:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Just landed via WeChat:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That risky pre-event haircut deserves its own invite to the party 🎉✂️😅

advice, bro, day, event, friendship, grooming, haircut, humor, never, special, special event

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

0

2 months ago

bathroom, humor, i, kids, mess, mirror, nice, over, shame, toothpaste
Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

0

2 months ago

emotional, feelings, humor, judgment, let, mood
I’m tired of things costing money.

0

2 months ago

cost, expense, financial, humor, money, sarcasm, things, tired
Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

0

2 months ago

appreciation, cost, day, drinking, erase, every, Facebook, fun, humor, i, liquor, me, memory, nostalgia, show
But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

0

2 months ago

body, body image, fitness, flat, humor, image, meant, self-acceptance, stomach, sure
Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, daily, daily life, expectations, humor, hungover, just, life, reality, Tuesday, welcome

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Facebook this month:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

13 shares on Discord this month:

I need a day off from myself.

88 shares on Discord this month:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

28 shares on Discord this month:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Seen just now on X:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Shared recently on Slack:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Live now on Messenger:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Shared recently on Threads:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Shared recently on TikTok:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

I’m tired of things costing money.

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨