Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Trending via Reddit:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Trending via Discord:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Just landed via Slack:

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Trending via Instagram:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Going viral on Messenger:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Seen just now on Discord:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew that a chair could have a case of the Mondays 😆🪑 At least it's job security for the furniture! #LazyChair #LaundryLife"

away, chair, clean, clean clothes, clothes, household, humor, i, job, laundry, procrastination, put, satire

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

0

2 months ago

bag, chip, chip bag, clear, clear bag, consumer, food, grocery, humor, me, packaging, pay, price, should, show, snacks, transparency, want
You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

0

2 months ago

bland, bland brew, brew, cup, cup of tea, humor, individuality, let, own, preference, self-acceptance, tea, uniqueness
I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

0

2 months ago

appetite, cravings, dining, eat, food, humor, i, love, menu, reading, stuff, want
I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

0

2 months ago

balance, enjoy, enjoyment, excess, humor, i, irony, lifestyle, moderation
90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

0

4 months ago

90, happen, i, never, things, works, worry, worrying
Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

0

2 months ago

build, communication, dating, effort, expectations, humor, love, men, modern, modern love, much, relationship, replying, romance, think, time, too, used, women

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

22 shares on X this month:

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

53 shares on Slack this month:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I need a break from me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Going bananas on Threads:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Making waves on Reddit:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Making waves on TikTok:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Going bananas on Twitch:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨