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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,697

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Trending via LinkedIn:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Just shared via TikTok:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Just shared via Instagram:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Making waves on Slack:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

1 week ago

Humorous quote about a quirky excuse for a resume gap in a playful forest setting.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, you see, I was just *exploring new horizons* and got a little too carried away 🌲. Lost in nature's beauty, I decided to extend my sabbatical for a while 🚶‍♂️. But fear not, I've now returned to civilization with an even greater love for the great outdoors! 🏞️ #LostAndFound"

adventure, explain, explanation, gap, humor, i, interview, job, job interview, missing, national, national park, park, resume

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on X this month:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

91 shares on Discord this month:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

56 shares on X this month:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

That friend who asks too many personal questions? He’s not concerned. He’s collecting.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Working your entire life so you can ‘enjoy’ a couple of years when you’re close to death is the biggest scam of all time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,475

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Going viral on Messenger:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Spotted on WeChat:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Trending via Reddit:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Spotted on Discord:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Trending via Twitch:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

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