Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Trending via Twitch:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Just shared via WeChat:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Trending via Discord:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Making waves on Discord:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Me: I'll get to that important task right after I finish deleting all these lock screen screenshots… 📸🔒💥#ProcrastinationGameStrong"

busy, deleting, distraction, humor, lock, lock screen, phone, procrastination, screen, screenshot, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

0

3 months ago

buy, fashion, humor, i, outfit, outfits, problem, shoe, shopping, style, wardrobe
I’m not old, I’m vintage.

0

2 months ago

age, humor, life, old, perspective, self-deprecation, vintage, wisdom
Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

0

3 months ago

class, depression, ever, gone, i, just, regret, relatable, school, skip, skip class, student
I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

0

2 months ago

comfort, couch, give, humor, i, just, lazy, love, relax, self-care
Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

0

2 months ago

always, big, comedy, humor, Lil, medium, music, rapper, wordplay
Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

0

2 months ago

attitude, choice, choose, early, humor, i, kindness, morning, motivation, procrastination, self-control, still, today, well

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Threads this month:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

18 shares on Twitch this month:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

57 shares on Discord this month:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

51 shares on Discord this month:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

76 shares on Discord this month:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Shared recently on X:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Just landed via Messenger:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Seen just now on Telegram:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Just shared via Reddit:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Live now on Threads:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

Going viral on Telegram:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨