Wordgag ツ

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

1 month ago
20, cream, goal, going, humor, i, ice, ice cream, internship, job, learn, me, piano, procrastination, read, reflection, self, self-reflection, study, summer, try
I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

1 month ago
animals, boar, glad, humor, imagination, imagine, insects, knocking, light, nature, only, time, wild, wild boar, Windows
At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

1 month ago
activity, club, dancer, fun, fun activity, humor, me, nightlife, sighing, strip, strip club, what’s, what’s wrong, wrong
So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

2 months ago
ball, expectation, frustration, humor, irony, me, mean, miscommunication, people, stress, stress ball, tell, throwing
Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

1 month ago
enemy, faster, humor, me, observation, rivalry, same, sidewalk, sorry, speed, thinking, walking
Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

1 month ago
humor, i, language, panty, say, sexy, speech, weird, word

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

Going viral on WeChat:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Broadcasted on Threads:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Spotted on YouTube:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Trending via WeChat:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Body by sandwich.

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏