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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,286

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Spotted on Facebook:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

Making waves on X:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Spotted on Twitch:

I am single, please disturb me!

Just shared via YouTube:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Going viral on Reddit:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Just shared via Discord:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous text about youthful innocence and regret, playful reflection on aging.

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Commentary:
"Turns out, adulting is just paying bills, doing laundry, and wondering why I was in such a hurry! 🤔🧺💸"

age, dumbest, ever, humor, i, life, life stage, nostalgia, older, regret, said, stage, thing, wait, wisdom, youth

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Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on TikTok this month:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

60 shares on Threads this month:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

61 shares on Slack this month:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

92 shares on Threads this month:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Spotted on WeChat:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Making waves on X:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Just landed via Discord:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

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Activity Log ✨

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨