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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

Taking yesterdayโ€™s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always โ€œNever.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ถ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,023

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Not now, babe, itโ€™s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Spotted on Slack:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Going viral on TikTok:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Seen just now on X:

Iโ€™ve disappointed better people.

Trending via Slack:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. Youโ€™re here, but you donโ€™t have enough power to actually do anything.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Donโ€™t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; Iโ€™m a professional.

Going viral on TikTok:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

Trending via Discord:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

Breaking via Threads:

My bodyโ€™s check engine light has been on for years.

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿฅ‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

54 shares on Slack this month:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

45 shares on Threads this month:

I donโ€™t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. Iโ€™m giving more than I take. Iโ€™m generous.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor canโ€™t block it out.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks itโ€™s night time and goes to sleep.

88 shares on Threads this month:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

โ€œEach to their own!โ€ Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Next time someone says โ€œIโ€™m a huggerโ€ and tries to hug me Iโ€™m gonna say โ€œIโ€™m a biterโ€ and see how it goes.

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Ruined a Ferrari guyโ€™s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

โ€œSeize the day!โ€ No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

โ€œYou handled it so well.โ€ Nah, I didnโ€™t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,911

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ป has shared:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ต has bookmarked:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via X:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Making waves on YouTube:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Just shared via TikTok:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Just landed via Facebook:

An escape room, but itโ€™s just your high school reunion.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I woke up alive again.

Going viral on TikTok:

Iโ€™m not good at solving Pi, but Iโ€™m really good at eating it.

Just shared via Reddit:

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, Iโ€™m bad. At everything.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

ยฉ 2025. All rights reserved.

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